Jek

This is fucking gold

Recommended Posts

I'm going to just cut the shit and tl;dr you right now. When I was younger I spent a few months in a place called Kids Peace (Orefield PA campus). It's like a dumping ground for kids who have mental health/behavioral problems. I feel like telling you niggers about it. There's a couple highlights worth mentioning that some of you may find amusing.
 
So the first thing worth telling you is that my internship at Kidspeace had less to do with mental and/or aggression problems, and more to do with angsty bitch stepdad. I was about 14 (2004, to be exact) and I was kind of your typical shithead kid. Lazy, slept all the time, listened to metal, watched shitty movies/anime. Because of reasons I ended up living at my Mom's place, and the whole lazy and sleeping all the time thing didn't sit well with my Stepdad. We had a very turbulant and standoffish relationship at the time. 
 
I didn't realize it at the time, but hindsight is 20/20. My ticket to retard castle came with a single conversation. Let's call it the hair that broke the camels back. It was the middle of summer, and I was sitting in my house as per usual watching tv. My stepdad is the kind of guy who works himself like a butch nigger nonstop. The day in question, he's outside for some reason building a fence in like 4,000 fucking degree heat. He finally gets frustrated and comes inside and does the whole "ANON. I COULD REALLY USE A HAND OUT HERE" routine.
 
My response came pretty fast "YEP. SURE LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD" (and in my heart i felt kek kek). He proceeded to do some bitching at me, with me ignoring him. My rationale at the time was pretty clear. -- U take me mum. Now you want me fence??? No way buster. Not today.
 
Anyways, Stepdad's aunt works at retard castle. I guess at some point after that conversation, he decided that I was a wild disrespectful out-of-control kid. He whispered poison into my mother's ear until she agreed with him that I had issues and that retard castle would be a good and positive experience for me. 
 
They sprang it on me pretty quick. The occasion was a bit like an intervention. A lot of people sitting around together in some kind of dark cabal of faggotry, explaining to me that they were going to send me off to the land where potatoes come by the dozen. Where all you need to get your dick sucked is a cup of applesauce. It became clear to me that decisions were already made, and that I had very little input on the matter. I'm not the smartest man in the world, but I know a futile situation when I see one. 
 
"Anon aunt cunty mctwat says u gonna love it there. it is place for kids to deal with their problems"
 
>fuck you faggots and your stupid fence.
 
The morning I left was a school day. I'm driving to this fucking place in a FORD WINDSTAR past the school buses I should be on. My humiliation is beyond description. Fencelord and Traitor Woman are driving me, trying to cheer me up by explaining to me how great this is going to be. We're driving - driving - driving. Way the fuck off into the middle of nowhere. 
 
>Kidspeace is like auschwitz on a mountain surrounded by farm fields and bramble lands. 
 
Finally Tart Palace comes into view. We windstar our way into the parking lot and find a spot. I reluctantly accept my fate. I notice that the building is like a fortress. The picture really doesn't do it justice. Everything on this building is big, and beefy. It's abundantly clear even from the outside that this place has a lot of the same architectural features you'd see on an actual jail/prison. They notice the same shit, but stick to their narrative.
 
DONT WORRY ANON. U GONNA LOVE IT HERE
 
We get the depressing little bags that contain 100% of the possessions that I will be allowed to own for the next 3 months of my life, and walk in to the reception area.
 
We get to the main reception desk. There's a little office area with a sliding glass window, and a couple of old bats manning the phones on the other side. They welcome my parents forward - all smiles and shit. When they figure out that my parents are trying to admit me, it eliminates the possibility that I'm just there to visit a sibling or something. The lady looks over at me and overtly eyeballs me - sizing me up. After she ascertained that I wasn't going fuckin spaghetti, she largely ignored me. I didn't notice it at the time - but this was the first red flag. Consider it a sign of the prevailing attitude throughout the rest of the staff. 
 
My parents are signing paperwork and shit with old bag lady. Meanwhile an orderly from what would soo be my unit came out to collect me and my shit. Let's call him Matt Damon (Can you guess why? hur hur). At this point my parents and I separate. The clock on my time in retard castle officially starts.
 
Matt Damon and I are walking to a nursing area. They can't admit me to the Unit's general population until I've gone through a medical evaluation. Not much to say about the evaluation. Except that I'm a skinny motherfucker. I was then, and I still am now. So I got to experience the obligatory routine of Matt Damon standing there for 20 minutes rubbing his chin like a moron asking me if I know what anorexia is.
 
After figuring out that I had no obvious self-inflicted wounds, and no venerial diseases, we proceeded into the unit. It's been so long I don't even remember which one it was. Along the way I noticed the irony that the walls in this place are covered with murals of flowers, bumblebees, rainbows, clouds, and sunshine. The responsible for decision on the wall decor should be the one getting admitted here - I guarantee you their fucking freezer is full of dead cats and fingernails.
 
We pass through a corridor with two huge vault-like security doors. One at each end. The doors can only be opened by staff keycards. The first thing I appreciate about the unit is the peculiar architecture. I'm including a picture for anons who care to see for themselves. Not much I can say about it to one-up the descriptive power of the diagram i've drawn. Just trust me when I say that every square inch of this place is designed to keep retards from either fucking or killing each other. This is when I truly understood how "in the shit" I really was. When you walk into a building whose architecture is designed to herd human beings like cattle, you know you're in the shit. 
 
So because it's my first night, they put me on suicide watch. Protocol. They give me this ridiculous looking red sweat suit. My skin crawls when I think how many potatoes have mayonnaised into these things. Matt Damon tries to cheer me up by pointing out that I'm not alone on suicide watch tonight. There's 2 other tarts in the same ridiculous getup. We have to spend our first night outside the dorms sleeping on the floor in front of the Control center (where the orderlies keep the peace from).
 
The rest of the day goes to shit. It's basically me getting inducted into therapy groups, and sitting through therapy sessions. They made me take this fucking retarded personality test. The eclectic wording of the questions on this test are yet another subtle reason why this place is terrifying...
 
>Question A) You like to help small animals t/f
>Question B) You get angry enough to hit things sometimes t/f
 
I am stuck inside a building against my will with people are fucking stupid enough to be 1-up'd by these questions. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT KIND OF DREAD THESE DETAILS STIR IN YOUR HEART?
 
During this phase, I met all of the people on my unit. People would come and go pretty often, so it's not worthwhile for me to mention EVERYONE to you niggers. There's a couple severe repeat offenders I will describe as I had experiences with them. The other people I was with weren't necessarily retarded - just undescript kids with problems.
 
Therapy sessions are over, and they drag out some sad matresses and lay them on the floor. I'm out on suicide watch with two tarts. A little kid named Marco - maybe 8 or 9 years old. Hyper as fuck. There's literally nothing wrong with him. He's just hyper as a motherfucker. Definitely one of the funniest people in the entire place. As we're bedding down, Marco is skipping around on his toes clumsily trying to bound his way over/around furniture "whooping" and shit. The orderlies trying to be diplomatic all the while "Marco come on, marco it's time to sleep. Come on marco. Marco you have until the count of 10."
 
>Marco does not give a fuck. He will spend much time in the isolation room.
 
The other tart on suicide watch with us is named Jeremy. Or as I know him - the shit lord. Pasty white kid with glasses, and short dirty blonde hair. Morbid obesity. The kind of gelatinous obesity that makes his body have the consistency of a waterbed. This motherfucker made my life hell. He fell off the wagon somewhere around the intersection of turtles and icecream. There's two things you need to know about Jeremy:
 
A) His insecurity about his weight causes him to be one of the most volatile and dangerous people on the unit, sending him into deceptively violent rages
 
and
 
B) Jeremies hobbies include long walks by the beach, dogs, and shitting his pants.
 
>Bathrooms? How do they work?
 
Anyways. I'm on suicide watch with these two. They finally calm marco the fuck down (the beast has been tamed for now) We're all laying in the main gallery near the reception booth just trying to sleep on these shitty piss-proof matresses. After quite a few hours, the orderlies bring in a newcomer. A girl. I can't see her well because the room is darker. They bring her up to the reception booth and they're saying shit to her. I can see her. She looks stressed out.
 
>Enter hydrogen peroxide berserker
(More on this later)
 
This girl is absolutely fucking insane. And I came to realize it when I saw her turn around, randomly spot dear little Marco fast asleep, and then walk over to him and stomp square on his head. The orderlies weren't paying attention. It happened so fast. She starts fucking wailing like an asshole waking everyone up.
 
Marco is screaming. He crawls away with the fear of god in his eyes. I sink under my covers and try to put myself in a bob ross happy place. The commotion wakes Jeremy up - who instantly starts sobbing uncontrollably. Orderlies yelling trying to get the banshee under control. This all starts waking tards up - who are now emerging from their dorms one by one.
 
>It begins
 
Banshee bitch starts fighting with Matt Damon. He checks her line a linebacker and drags her to the isolation room back on the other side of the security doors. We all try to go back to bed. We can still hear banshee bitch going fucking spaghetti in the isolation room. 
 
>Sounds like she is being gangraped to death for the rest of the night
 
Next morning I wake up. I'm laying in the middle of this fucking mess hall with no less than 3 retards watching me like I've been sitting here juggling flaming bowling pins for the last 40 minutes. Staff invite me to go eat breakfast - but I appreciate that breakfast in this place shouldn't be called food at all. It's more like "nutrition". Just matter to keep these idiots from starving to death (As if they would. There's so much shit from Jeremy laying around the place for them to eat)
 
We end up in the first major therapy session. The staff assemble the chairs in the dining hall and summon all the tards. Including Peroxide warrior. They are eager to integrate her into the group. They clearly keep the tards occupied most of the day by cutting therapy up into multiple sessions broken up by designated quiet times. 
 
Anyways, they make peroxide warrior introduce herself. I don't even remember her name. But I come to find out that she was an alcoholic - and resorted to drinking Hydrogen peroxide and rubbing alcohol. This had about the effect on her body that one would expect it to have. 
 
>Her eyes are literally pointing in two separate directions
>Her once semi normal looking face now contorted like she's perpetually trying to take a huge shit
>The rage of a thousand suns lives inside of her
 
The next major player gets introduced. She's a fucking huge latina. HUGE. Her name is Rosa. I will never forget her name for as long as I've lived. Orderlies walk on egg shells around her. I come to find out that she was a heroine addict. Her criminal activity put her on a trajectory to actual prison, but due to her underage status, the state dumped her in Kids Peace. 
>Rosa is fucking insane
>Literally
>Rosa is the final boss of kidspeace
 
Later that evening, Rosa took on a very brooding aggression. Matt Damon tried to approach her on the matter. 
>Tard has been looking at me
>Talking shit about me
(The tard in question probably has the IQ of a parakeet so to this day I find these charges doubtful)
 
Matt damon failed to defuse her rage, which resulted in her going fucking spaghetti and throwing furniture around like Hercules. A melee with the orderlies ensued. This was pretty much a daily event during my time there. Rosa fought the orderlies as if the gods upon Olympus watched her every move.
 
>When Rosa is on the rampage, you go to your fucking room and hide
 
Anyways. It was pretty shit. A lot of counceling. More maddeningly than anything was the fact that they had this retarded point system. More points = more privileges. So any time they'd spot a tard on the verge of misbehaving, they would attempt to defuse the situation by waving their privilege of eating cookies over their head like they are some kind of dog. 
 
They attempted to use this whole thing on me - but it didn't work because
1. I am not retarded
2. I do not have insane anger problems
 
They eventually just gave up and left me alone. I went to the highest level of this point system within the first 24 hours. They were like holding me up as if I was some kind of model inmate, a standard by which the other idiots should abide. To succeed in this system you simply had to be alive, not shit on yourself, and not physically injure other people.
 
It's not really easy for me to keep a coherent narrative to these things. Most of my days were spent in the shitty bleak grind of therapy sessions, watching retards throw temper tantrums and defy orderlies, and sitting around staring at walls.
 
My dorm room was next to Marco. So I got to enjoy a lot of Marco's shit. Marco was annoying as fuck - but he was also hilarious. His favorite activity was to just sprint out of his room as fast as he could during "quiet times" and jump all over the place whooping. Running from Orderlies like it was a game. This happened maybe 3 or 4 times before they caught on and started locking him in his room during these periods. 
 
But because I was so clouse, I could still hear Marco in the next room going on the bender.
>Marco will not be contained.
 
Another frequent source of annoyment was Jeremy. He perpetually smelled like shit. The other terrible part is that he would shit in his pants so much that it would start to leak out the leg holes of his underwear resulting in little pooplets all over the floor. Staff would constantly take him back to the isolation room to shower him since nobody wanted to even attempt wiping all the shit off his ass. Hearing him sobbing and being dragged either to or from the showers was a part of every day life.
 
The other problem is that Jeremy was aggressive. So he'd randomly just slap or punch kids to act out. Which would result in like a fucking dwarf fortress tantrum spiral which usually ended with Rosa going fucking bananas.
 
About a month through my stay, I wake up to discover a new tard on the block. 
>Enter Dolphin Girl
She is a stumpy black girl. She looks young - but i'm pretty sure that she's actually in her mid 20s at the time of the story. She is FUCKED up. I assume they dumped her in with us because she is too retarded for adult places. She has these stumpy little chicken legs, a strangely round and obese upper body, and no neck. Her face basically looks like a dolphin face mounted on Miss Pacman's body. 
>This creature truly exists in real life
 
We're at the first therapy session since Dolphin Girl arrives. We go through the session. 10 minutes of misc, 40 minutes of Rosa describing her thirst for human blood. During this time I ascertain that Dolphin Girl is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up. She can barely speak. When she speaks, she just mumbles incoherently and the orderlies pretend like they understand her.
"Mwa hng ughnamgm mwam likegh"
Orderlies just nodding "Mmhmm yes uhuh riiight" 
The orderlies patronize these fuckers so bad, but their social skills are so under-developed that they don't even realize it.
 
Anyways, the session ends. I'm sitting in the middle of the dining hall reading the Bible - which is literally the only book available in the entire place above a 3rd grade reading level. Not interested in reading about how hungry the caterpillar is? Well fuck you. Here's a king james bible, bitch. How's that for reading level?
 
Suddenly I feel something touch my foot.
 
I lower the Bible. Lo and behold (kek) I see Dolphin face looking up at me smiling. 
 
>She is touching my foot with hers
 
>oh my god
 
Dolphin Girl is a fucking cock hungry fiend. The theme of her sexually harassing me will continue for the remaining 2 months. On one occasion I was laying in bed in the dead of night. I hear some commotion outside. Just loud voices - i'm not really paying attention. But then I hear the command center people speaking across the main gallery, calling to Dolphin Girl. Telling her to go to her room.
>I realize she is standing right outside my fucking dorm door
She is resisting. The orderlies come over and physically herd her back to her bed.
>I came this close to being raped by dolphin girl
 
They do visitation at this place at the same time. So you have tards sitting all over the gallery just talking to their family members. My poor grandmother came to see me and I'm sitting there talking to her trying to play it cool. My grandmother is all torn up that my mom/stepdad did this to me. I'm looking past her at Dolphin girl who is just staring at us with her mouth open. Most uncomfortable fucking thing in the world.
 
I suspect that she masturbated a lot, but I never saw it directly. Just based on the way the staff tried to herd her. Their cautions all seemed to be oriented around her having some kind of sexually risky background.
 
They also have school in this place. They assemble the tards into a line and march us through the security doors to another part of the building (I couldn't really identify it in the picture I posted above - which is the actual building. The inside of kidspeace is like a labyrinth). So they fucking walk us through this place in a nigger chaingang towards this pathetic school room. We get in there and after 10 minutes Jeremy does his thing and shits his pants. The whole room smells, and the instructor is visibly distracted by this.
 
Nobody else cares, though. Tards bask in the odor of shit like a fat person at a buffet. Marco gets way too hyper. They think he's gonna write creative sentences and shit. But he only has one thing on his mind
>Going fucking bananas
 
I quickly realize that all the schoolwork in this place is just busy work. Bullshit to satisfy federal regulations. 
 
After class they take us to a gym and inform us that we're going to play dodgeball
>DODGEBALL
>ROSA
>HYDROGEN PEROXIDE WARRIOR
 
The dread in my heart is immense. They take us into a big padded gym room. I realize that every person in my group who is there as a result of rage problems is now a life threatening opponent. Rosa and Peroxide are the biggest threats - but there's many other B list tards who have rage problems under the right circumstances.
 
>HURDUR THROW BALLS AT ROSA THIS IS A GOOD IDEA
 
It's like someone approaching you and telling you to throw rocks at a bull elephant. Rosa has tried to kill people over FAR less. My prophecy on this matter would come to be true.
 
It's like someone approaching you and telling you to throw rocks at a bull elephant. Rosa has tried to kill people over FAR less. My prophecy on this matter would come to be true.
 
There's another large(ish) tard in my group. I forget his name. He's just this big husky low-IQ redneck kid whose gods are WWE, and threatens to knucklesandwich everything in his path. He ends up on my team (thankgod) and Rosa ends up on the opposing team (whygod). 
 
I'm not going to run you niggers through the gambit. It unfolded about as you'd expect it to. Jeremy got walloped in the fucking face, started sobbing, got relegated to the sidelines, and shit his pants. Marco was more interested in the large open padded room which was ideal for running and whooping in honor of the gods. The dodgeballing between Rosa and WWE Man gets intense. I somehow manage to stay in it (in it to win it dodgeball is my fukken game). The game ends short of a melee due to Rosa and WWEman making death threats to each other. Matt Damon pulls the plug on this nightmare in the making.
 
I suppose the last major event that I have to share with you guys happened one of my last nights there. The tards got movie nights 3 times a week if the aggregate "behavior point score" of the entire group was sufficiently high enough. They had a choice of movies. The problem is that this place was full on nigger-jew mode. So their selection of movies was like... Maybe 6 disney movies, whatever random shit the orderlies had laying around at their houses, and that movie about Selena. 
 
Naturally they became obsessed with Selena (i swear on me mum i've seen that fucking movie so many times). One of my last nights there they decide they're going to watch Selena for the umpteenth time. I look at the ground, and in a wave of soul crushing defeat, I feel fml as an emotion. The thought doesn't just occur to me. It IS me. Movies are the only thing in my life. The only fresh stimulation that is not based off of the fear of death, or rape. So I decide to go to bed early.
 
About an hour in, Rosa starts doing her thing. I hear a thunderous commotion. She's outside in the mess hall fighting WWE kid. Apparently WWE kid made a remark along the lines of "who gives a fuck about that spic" which set Rosa into a rage. Their brawl destroys the mess hall. Retards crying everywhere. Marco runs free during the melee and starts bounding over/around furniture as he often does.
 
The next day my parents came, and they discharged me. Kidspeace did absolutely nothing for me. It was a complete and total waste of time. They also spent an unusual amount of energy pushing drugs. They tried to put me on Abilify, and I noticed the same pattern with many other kids. It was one of the most retarded things i've experienced to date (kek). Some of you may think the story is bullshit pasta- but every word of it is true. There is no clean or concise ending to the story. My relationship with my parents remained stressed for a few years after that. I moved out to Pittsburgh and lived alone for a few years. Got a crash course education in capitalism and self employment (ticket scalping). Learned to ride a motorcycle. By the time I moved back home, I didn't even give a fuck anymore. My relationship with my parents is fine today, and I am one of the pillars of stability in my family.
 
There's a bunch more I could tell you guys - mainly little stuff. But I don't want to keep you all here forever.
 
>Marco runs free
 
 
 
>TL;DR if you didn't read it, go fuck yourself this is fucking gold

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I bet he got raped and didn't want us to know. kek


dRRd8pC.gif

"Then when I give up and call her fat, she gets even madder, it's not fair!" ~Kochi 12/8/14
"Dude, when I am 69 those will be the best years of my life" -Jearbear 1/29/15
"I seriously thought the M in Margarita was silent..." -Jearbear 2/2/15
"This ain't GMOD anymore, we're big boys now!" -InvexFX 6/1/15 (He said this while playing CSGO on ESEA)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you ever heard of remington?


Obsidian Raven General

zkSlZA5s.jpg

Quotes:

"WHY IS IT WHEN I FLASH SOMEBODY IT'S LIKE I SLAP THEM IN THE FACE WITH A NAPKIN FROM A KIDS BIRTHDAY PARTY, BUT WHEN I GET FUCKING FLASHED IT'S LIKE A BIG BROLLIC BLACK DUDE NAMED FUCKING REQUIS PULLS A BEDSHEET AROUND MY HEAD AND JUST SKULLFUCKS ME" ~Jev https://youtu.be/6hWT8fZGvWA?t=283

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...